The 5 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married
By Michael Webb
I’ve got a news flash for you…
Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?
You see, people often get married with this strange idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for one other will keep them together forever.
However, with about 50% of failed marriages that end in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this cannot be true. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets about having a successful marriage BEFORE getting married.
So without further ado, here are five marriage tips that help to keep couples together long after tying the knot:
1. Never Stop Dating
Over the years, people often drift apart because of boredom. And relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together.
This is why going on new and refreshing dates is so important to the health of your relationship. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut rather quickly.
It’s also important that while you’re dating your partner, you put in the effort to ensure that your appearance is stellar. You must also ensure that you have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level. This will naturally draw you both much closer together.
Are you stuck for fun and romantic date ideas? You can try spending the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach, or park for starters.
2. Delay Gratification
It’s a well-documented statistic that couples that have dated for a year or longer before getting married have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.
A year or more of dating gives enough time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter.
Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t really romantic. In reality, it’s more like gambling.
3. Express Your Love Frequently
Learning how to express your love is essential to the happy marriage. Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking and feeling.
In reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner and doing things to show your appreciation. Simple things like complimenting them on their cooking or reaffirming that they’re the greatest person in the world will do wonders for their self-esteem.
You can even go as far as to tell them how proud you are of them in a particular area. And if you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they’re feeling loved, it’ll be much easier for them to love in return.
Think about it for a moment…
Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?
4. Seek to Understand Your Partner
Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him or her.”
So let me ask you this: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause?
The better you know your partner the easier it will be for you to love them unconditionally simply because you’ll understand their strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and hang-ups. You’re less likely to take things personally when you understand the underlying reason for their behavior.
I’m not saying that you need to know every single last detail about them, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow much closer as a result.
5. Ask the Right Questions
Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?
In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.
I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. This is wrong, just plain old wrong!
If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.
In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s” will help you stay together.
Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside and out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle. It’s a good investment in your future happiness if you want to have a successful marriage.
From the Editors: Michael Webb is the author of 1000 Questions For Couples, the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. The book covers lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children and raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much, much more. To learn more, visit: www.questionsforcouples.com
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