Physical Touch – The Tender Way of Showing Your Affection
By Jasmine Jones
Learning about the five love languages can enrich every relationship in your life, but especially romantic relationships. If you feel that you and your partner are having difficulty connecting, communicating in his or her primary love language can get things turned in the proper direction.
If your relationship is tense, be willing to take the first step toward correcting it by reaching out to your partner.
Misunderstandings About Physical Affection
One frequently misunderstood love-style is the love language of physical touch. This style is misunderstood because many people, especially men, assume that their language is touch because they crave sexual intimacy so intensely. However, merely enjoying sex does not mean that one’s primary language is physical affection.
In order to tell the difference, consider whether sex makes you feel loved, or just makes you feel good. Also consider whether other forms of touch make you feel loved as well. People who need physical affection feel loved through back rubs, hugs, or holding hands, and not only sexual expression.
Does your partner touch you frequently, or is he always leaning in for a quick kiss? Does she always want to hold your hand, rub your back, or is she constantly asking you to play with her hair? If so, your partner’s love language is most likely physical touch.
This does not mean that you are obligated to have sex every night, even when you are too tired to stay awake after dinner. But it does mean that your partner needs your touch as much as you may need quality conversation, a thoughtful anniversary gift, or a weekly date night.
Filling your partner’s need for love by speaking his or her love language is vital to a happy and healthy relationship.
Doctors and scientists have long understood that children need to be touched and held in order to thrive emotionally and physically. When people experience a crisis, they tend to hold hands and hug to express the depths of their feelings.
Those who need physical affection to feel love tap into the basic human need for touch on a regular basis.
Becoming an Affectionate Person
So how do you do this, especially if you are not naturally an affectionate, demonstrative type of person? The first step is to consciously begin to touch your partner as often as you can. To make physical affection a habit, begin counting the number of touches you can give to your partner each day, perhaps setting a daily goal.
After physical affection has become a habit, begin to get creative. Think of new ways to touch your partner. Ask your partner which touch he really likes the best.
When she is washing dishes, come up behind her and slip your arms around her, kissing the back of her neck. Ask if she would like for you to brush her hair. Don’t forget to offer plenty of back rubs or foot massages.
Be sure to reach for his hand while riding in the car, sitting in a waiting room, or listening to music. Cuddle next to him on the sofa while watching a movie or reading a book. Squeeze his arm while sitting next to him, and don’t forget to comment on the size of his bicep.
Follow Your Partner’s Lead
Make sure you pay attention to what types of touch he does not like as well. Some people do not like to be tickled or have certain parts of their bodies touched. Others dislike people close to their faces, so make sure that you are respecting your partner’s personal preferences.
A loving touch can take many forms in a relationship. While sexual intimacy is one form of loving touch, the number of dialects in the love-style of physical touch is innumerable, limited only by your imagination.
While all five love languages are important to a relationship, learn how to express your love in the way that your partner will understand it best. If his language is physical affection, study his likes and dislikes in order to express the depths of your love in a way that he can understand it best.
By speaking the language of love in your partner’s favorite dialect, your relationship will be richer, happier, and more fulfilling.
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